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My kinda-willing-to-drink-semen-in-a-cocktail friend Victoria almost puked right there after she stared at the cum filled glass, so we placed it in the kitchen to let it "melt. It's either too salty, too sweaty, or it just tastes like shame. I must admit, the more I read Semenology the less nauseous I became. The night came to a close with plenty of cum puns and dick jokes, all which were hilarious but way too tacky. This should be reserved for consenting consumers only. I called up Fotie for a chat and he put all my doubts aside when he explained: "We eat eggs, which is chicken menstruation, and milk, which is cow secretion.

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I'm not sure, and maybe it's just me, but I don't see a problem with mixing myself up a "Watermelon Gin Jizz" while I curl up on my couch and watch Sex and the City after a nice romp in the bedroom.

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As he stepped into the kitchen to whip up our cum cocktails, armed to the tee with ingredients and liquor, making sure that us girls would have the utmost tastiest semen concoctions sliding down our throats by the time he was done. This should be reserved for consenting consumers only. His hair was slick with sweat and he looked all doe-eyed and adorable. Finally, after occupying the bathroom for what felt like forever, he finished twelve minutes into a stream of "Scooby Doo XXX" A porno that I absolutely do not want to watch for fear of permanently damaging some very clean and wholesome childhood memories.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. I don't even know how to respond to this... You gay?