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Woody is a big fat angry old man. As an 8-year old boy, he was already very overweight. Woody is a right-wing conservative Christian. Some of Woody's "proudest" achievements include screwing his own daughter and later on going back in time to screw his own mother Anita. Woody defends that he needs Malloy as his "therapy pet", because without him his post traumatic stress disorder from his service in the military will return to haunt him and he will go insane.

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Woody Johnson

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As an 8-year old boy, he was already very overweight.

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Just as Malloy put it, Anita mistreating Woody as a kid is the main reason why adult Woody is such a horrible person who doesn't care about anyone else. For many many years, Woody kept lying that his mom Anita was dead, even though she was actually alive and Woody admitted he lied about her death since he didn't want anyone to contact her and reunite him with his mom. Woody was then relegated to non-sexual roles. Getting coked up, getting drunk, exploiting Brickleberry for money, abusing Steve, reading bedtime stories to Malloy.

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